Kerry,

I’m humbled by your response, I’m sorry for your loss, and I applaud you for taking the steps you have to heal and move forward. Without knowing that level of detail, I sensed someone looking for an excuse after what appeared to be another failed relationship. I agree that porn is a problem (and/or a symptom) in many relationships today as it has significant and negative effects on intimacy and trust.

However, I still maintain that there had to be other pre-existing “gaps” that led you into that relationship in the first place and ones that you should’ve accepted responsibility for if you’re to grow and maintain your person, regardless of his behavior. Somewhere in the areas of intuition, personal boundaries, and self-esteem. But it sounds like you’re doing more than just that, so congratulations on your display of strength and courage.

I’m reminded of a time that I was told, “ignorance is no excuse for negligence”. In this case, I’ll modify the saying to, “innocence is no excuse for negligence”. Again, I commend you for your efforts and I apologize if my reply seemed a bit negative or overly critical.

Sincerely,

Chad